Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Happy Valentine's blah...blah...blah



Ah, it's that time of year again. The time of year when winter is finally beginning to fade away, there is a hint of spring in the air, and every mismatched pair of losers that happen to be currently 'shacked up' together can celebrate the fact that they are not alone.

I am not bitter. I have no problem with Valentine's Day itself. It's the people. It's the people that really get to me. "Gee, Doris, it be Valentine Day. Better throw on yer good t-shirt and jeans and we can head on over to the Legion and get shit-faced. Oh yeah, can you wear those crotchless panties I got ya for mudder's day?" Yeah, that kind of thing.

The celebration of love should be an everyday occurance and not just once a year. By taking part in this artarded holiday you are perpetuating the stereotype that everybody sucks! I know that love is totally necessary. Love is like a toll-bridge. It is annoying, it slows you down, it mucks up your plans, and we all have to go through one eventually.

Some old dude named Erich Segal said, "True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. " I think that this says it all. You can be happily in love, or whatever sort of situation you have going, and not do it with all of the bells and whistles. I know that I am not alone in saying that public displays of affection are not cool. They are blatant cries for attention. "Look at me! I am in love! I have someone!". Pathetic!!!

Well, that about sums up my Valentine's rant. But don't be disappointed, Easter is just around the corner and we all know how much I love those Christians!

I know negativity isn't the answer, I got it wrong on purpose.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

My Edumacation Never Ends



Since moving to Thailand I have been constantly learning new things. I have been discovering a different culture and different types of people here in this land of near psychotic, gun toting, bi-polar, cheating lovely people. Today I would like to focus on the different ways that my vocabulary has been expanding. This is mainly due to spending so much time with the English, Australians, Irish and Americans.

Here are a few examples of my new favourite words:

bogan: person who takes little pride in his appearance, spends his days slacking and drinking beer. I learned this word from Natalie. It is a popular Aussie slang word that is basically the same as white trash.

chav: mainly derogatory slang term in the United Kingdom for a subcultural stereotype fixated on fashions such as imitation gold, poorly made jewellry and fake designer clothing(often Burberry), combined with elements of working class British street fashion.

ginger: this word is pronounced like "singer" but with a hard 'g'. Like minger, this is a derogatory term for a person with Gingervitus: red hair, light skin, freckles and no soul. It is the same as ginger, pronounced like the spice, but sayin g the other way makes it much more offensive.

dirty sanchez: a disgusting sexual act. It involves the anus, feces, penis, and upper lip. I don't want to go in to detail about how the dirty sanches is done, but I will tell you that it ends with a woman having a moustache drawn on her upper lip with doo-doo on the end of a penis.

slag: one of my favourite words. From the U.K., it is used for a woman that has casual sex with many partners. Slag stands for "She'll Lay Any Guy".

That is the end of my vocab lesson for today, I must get to class now.